Long has this word been haunting me. It has become my permanent companion. It is the only thing that is certain. And it chooses to be never ending.
Since childhood i have wanted to finish my schooling in a single school.. Wanted to tell people about how me and my friend ( who I wished to have , had i studied in a single school throughout )grew up together from our kinder-garden... But the only thing that grew up with me was Uncertainty. Pardon my addressing Uncertainty like a person's name.. Apparently it commands the importance . I was never sure that i would continue in a school for the next year and this happened till my secondary. I changed half a dozen schools.. Although i was not blessed with one childhood friend, I was abundantly blessed with friends wherever I went.. And every where I went I introduced my companion to my friends. . Uncertainty!!! All of them certainly accepted me with Uncertainty.. Just like me, they were also expecting the unexpected to crop up from me and it would vanish in no time because I was not sure of doing it..
There is a kind of career I want to pursue. . It might not be given an exact name and a degree like my BE EEE but I know what I want to do when I am in that line.. Every day I try new ways to get on the right track but the moment I think of something , there is always this possibility of it happening or not happening.Happening is my thought and not happening is the thought Uncertainty induces in me. I convince myself that Uncertainty has nothing to do with this . I am just considering all the possibilities before taking a decision, which is why I end up not doing what I want to do . But later I thought that I was providing myself with lame excuses.
May be the very thought that I wanted a childhood friend, crept upon me so much , that i actually started accepting Uncertainty as my friend. May be that is why I am giving myself the excuses so as to keep Uncertainty out of blame.
So I began looking at things this way.
Only because Uncertainty is there i don't jump to conclusions.Only because of the kind of thoughts Uncertainty induces in me, I am being appreciated for the kind of decisions I make. Uncertainty taught me to analyse situations from a distance before opining.Uncertainty made me believe in my intuitions. Uncertainty relieved me from being gullible.. Uncertainty gave me an insight to a lot of things which I doubt i would have known even with that childhood friend beside me..I do know that Uncertainty can do good things for me : in a way that I like, and most of the time, (GRRR!! ) in a way the situation demands.. Either way I have accepted (after much thinking and with joy ) to live with it because I am tired of looking for people who do not change with time. And that's the only request my Uncertainty obliges .
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